Sunday, December 09, 2018

What’s in a Name?

It was announced the other day during an all campus meeting that Northwest College (in Powell, Wyoming) will be spending a little over $80,000 for a new marketing campaign targeting Wyoming’s Big Horn Basin and the Western states that participate in the Western Undergraduate Exchange (WUE) program. In short, enrollment numbers are dwindling and something is needed to stop the bleeding.

Nausea started to creep in when I considered the “elephant in the room” and the fact that we were going to spend even more energy and money attempting to drive that square peg into the round hole that we’ve been doing for so many years.

The “square peg” that I speak of is our school’s name, “Northwest College.” The “elephant in the room” is the need to change our ambiguous, compass-dial-name to “Yellowstone College.”

Back in October, the college president sent me an email asking about my rogue hashtags on Instagram, “#yellowstonecollege.” There was no threat in her query, just wanted to know where I was coming from. So, I replied with the following:

It should be no surprise that I strongly believe in replacing “Northwest College” with “Yellowstone College”—if nothing else as a unique identifier in who we are and where we are. Short of creating a recruiting army, I think there is nothing more effective in recruiting than this simple name change—especially when it comes to attracting students from beyond Wyoming (where we have no recruiting).

Northwest College was probably a good name back in the day when we were mostly charged with delivering higher education to the students of Wyoming, but as you know in these current times, we have to look far beyond our borders to maintain any kind of decent enrollment numbers. With that in mind, “Northwest” is certainly suspect in representing our actual place to someone who doesn’t live in Wyoming. Even in our own state, I’m surprised at how many people refer to us as “the college in Powell.” That’s hardly an argument for saying we have a strong institutional name.

In my mind, the name “Yellowstone College” is riper than it has ever been. And there’s no other institution that would serve that name better than this one here in Powell—only 70-plus miles from the gate of YNP. 

I sincerely applaud the new marketing plan and those who have come up with it. It’s going to be good. I just find it somewhat self-defeating that we’re going to execute it for such a vague and generic name—knowing how much better the results could be if a college name change were included.

Listening to the details of the marketing plan, all I could think of was, “This is what they mean when someone mentions that old adage, ‘Work smarter, not harder.’” Promoting “Northwest College” will be the antithesis of that adage as I see it.

Sometimes the solution to a perceived difficult and complex problem turns out to be a simple solution. People living near the jungles of India managed to eradicate fatal tiger attacks by simply wearing a mask on the back of their heads when in the jungle areas—a simple solution proposed by a student science club member who noted that all such attacks came from behind the victims.

Following the presentation, questions and comments were invited. I sat there and gave my best rationale for not saying anything, but I couldn’t stifle it. So, I said it, “Yellowstone College.”

As I added my rationale, I saw people like our Public Relations Vice President laughing—laughing at me, laughing at my idea, I don’t know. But he was having a good laugh. Along with the laughing from some of my colleagues I considered this: For years I’ve been part of a small political minority—surrounded by die-hard Republicans and conservative thought, and yes, far outnumbered by those who voted Donald Trump as the President of the United States. So, this felt no different. I was happy I brought it up, even if it was only regarded as a moment of levity for many in the room. But, I’ll sleep better at night knowing I did speak up in front of the small gathering that was meant to be attended by the entire campus.

No doubt, the square peg rammed into the round hole will still likely result in some kind of improved enrollment numbers, but it’s a lot of money for what will likely be mediocre results. Hopefully I’m wrong. But, in my mind nothing would work harder for us (with little money and for years on end) like “Yellowstone College,” especially when it comes to attracting the larger and more remote student market.

One colleague offered up a theory on all of this—a colleague who has taught here almost as many years as myself. It goes something like this: Northwest College is the opposite of “too big to fail,” but rather too small to succeed—set in a community and managed by those who really don’t want it to be too appealing or successful. A too-attractive college brings in better students, better educators, and even better administrators. And, the community of Powell (and Wyoming) really doesn’t want any of that at all. We may never know, but I find the theory credible until some other rationale is brought forward. I have yet to hear of any rationale that provides a solid defense for keeping “Northwest.”

Further, we still don’t have a student newspaper because when we had one, it was too _________ (fill in the blank). So “Yellowstone College” is another one of those campus conversations/stories that will never see the light of day—lost in the abyss of “no student publication.”

The diagram required to find us.
Nevertheless, all I can do is go along with the status quo at this point and attempt to make lemonade from the lemons of the institution’s insipid name. That said, along with a few select others, we’ve been batting around new slogans to go along with the new marketing roll-out… something that is more unique, more genuine than our current “Your future, our focus.” And perhaps, we’ll have a few laughs of our own along the way.

Northwest College:
Go ahead, try to find us.

Northwest College:
We’re not where you think we are.

Northwest College:
Don’t tell Washington State about us.

Northwest College:
We do vague.

Northwest College:
The world needs more ambiguity.

Northwest College:
The best junior college you can’t find.

Northwest College:
Best direction… evah!

Northwest College:
The opposite of southeast.

Northwest College:
Not too far northwest.

Northwest College:
Think of us as Yellowstone College, but we’re not.

Update: The web domains of yellowstonecollege.edu, yellowstonecollege.com, theyellowstonecollege.edu are not available but are not active sites. It appears someone has purchased them (not me). A bible-based college, Yellowstone Christian College in Billings, Montana uses the domain name yellowstonechristian.edu.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

The AR-15: America's Mass Murder Weapon of Choice

An open letter to Colt Manufacturing…

Dennis Veilleux
President & CEO Colt Manufacturing Company
P.O. Box 1868
Hartford, CT 06144

Like it or not, the AR-15 is pretty much the gun that is associated with mass murders in the United States. Whether this is a formal or informal moniker, I can’t imagine it’s the type of association anyone would want for themselves or their business operations. And certainly if I knew of someone who owned such a weapon, I would undoubtedly steer clear of them under any circumstances given this weapon’s role in so many mass-murders.

After the events of today in Parkland, Florida (a place I’ve never heard of until today) involving the murder of over a dozen innocent victims at the hands of another deranged individual carrying another AR-15, I would like to believe that you and your board members would feel compelled to take some kind of public action that attempts to convince the general public that these events do not sit well with Colt (or any gun manufacturer).

I realize that several other manufacturers make their own versions (clones) of the AR-15 since the expiration of the patent, but it is the Colt name that has the greatest association and would ultimately make the most contribution in the weapon’s reduced role of slaughtered, innocent Americans.  

If this has not come up in conversation, I would ask you to consider it. Perhaps even read this. And, I would further challenge you to make a public statement accompanied with swift action—that Colt is undisputedly determined to rid itself of being the gun manufacturer that makes the mass-murder weapon of choice.

It’s a crazy idea, and probably not the best for short-term profits, but what if Colt denounced the AR-15 by ceasing its manufacturing immediately? Yeah, I know, not the smartest business plan, but surely you agree that even the life of one innocent person is more valuable than any decision that is best for business? You do, don’t you?

I dare you to announce to the world that a human life is more valuable than gun sales. I double-dog dare you.

And in making this simple statement and action, you could also apply some of your “Colt leverage” to the other AR-15 clone manufacturers. And, with any luck, suddenly the rightful demonization of this weapon of mass murders would commence. Oh sure, there will be those few who snatch up the remaining ones, but in the long run, the AR-15 will become the “Weapon of the Whack’o”—to the point that few would brag of having one or ever bring one out for show and tell. That might boost gun sales in a different—more responsible way. Imagine if that happened. Imagine Colt transforming from the manufacturer of America’s favorite mass-murder weapon, to the manufacturer of responsible gun ownership.

Ford quit manufacturing the Pinto when they were associated with blowing up from rear-end collisions… surely the civil-minded folk at Colt could do the same with the AR-15—America’s mass-murder weapon of choice until you do something about it.

Friday, January 19, 2018

Wyoming Public Media Disappoints Yet Again

I’m disappointed to hear that Wyoming Public Media has dropped On Point for a second installment of the BBC because by the time On Point hits the airwaves its “content is rendered obsolete.” Seriously… That’s your rationale?!

I’ve never listened to On Point and thought to myself, “Wow, what they’re talking about there is totally obsolete now.” I’d rather have a bit of slightly dated in-depth discussion than more redundant, late-breaking news—which can be too new and often inaccurate itself. And, for the record, I’m OK with hearing news from the BBC, that’s valuable to me as well, but not twice a day. I suppose no one ever considered simply switching the two program slots? I will also argue that given how easy it is to find the BBC news in so many public radio offerings (not to mention satellite radio), it’s not as if you’re bringing something really unique to your Wyoming listeners, and I’m sure On Point isn’t nearly as ubiquitous as BBC broadcasts.

Between the all-too-often dead-air SNAFUs common with Wyoming Public Media at any given time and now the dropping of On Point, I make no promises about my continued support come the spring fund-raising campaign.

Saturday, January 13, 2018

A Small Front Account from the Cola Wars

In the movie Pulp Fiction, Uma Thurman’s character, Mia Wallace, declares that you can learn a lot about a person by the choice they make when given only two choices; such as The Beatles or Elvis. She then proceeds to ask Vincent Vega (John Travolta) with her video camera rolling what his choices would be when it comes to The Partridge Family or The Brady Bunch. On Rich Man, Poor Man which character does he prefer, Peter Strauss or Nick Nolte. How does he say “thank you” in a language other than English. 

Over the years, I’ve considered this fictional character’s philosophy and have come up with a few either-this-or-that questions of my own to ask anyone I might encounter. At the top of my list of questions has to do with one’s choice when it comes to carbonated drinks (soda, pop, soda pop, etc.)—in particular, Coke or Pepsi.

Since my college days at Arizona State, I have been a Coke fan. And, it was Charlie Ochoa, a chemistry major who lived a couple doors down in our dorm, who pointed out to me that Coke was made from all natural products back then. I can still remember the list of ingredients: carbonated water, sugar, caramel coloring, caffeine and phosphoric acid.

Not that I’ve ever been a huge consumer of such drinks, but there have been a few times in my life when an entire six-pack of Coke was vanquished in the course of a week.

From the 1980s on, Pepsi has always come across as flat and too sugary for my palette.

Several years ago, my place of employment—Northwest College—sold its soul to Pepsi; meaning only Pepsi products were permitted on campus. I’m sure Pepsi made the school an offer they couldn’t refuse. When all of that went down, I found it very disturbing because it felt so autocratic. It seemed to me that when one was enrolled in college, they should have choices. When they’re in jail, not so much. I was convinced that even on a small college campus, there was room for both brands of carmel-colored sugar-water.

I would imagine that shortly after Pepsi became the only choice on campus, several Coke lovers were converted to Pepsi. But as you may have guessed, not me. With no Coke available anywhere at the college, I preferred nothing (or at least water) over Pepsi.

As it turned out, I wasn’t such a Coke fan after all. Although I occasionally purchased it and kept a small cache of it stocked in my office refrigerator, I couldn’t maintain the energy that was required of such behavior. In the end, I simply learned to go without.

After so many years of abstaining from Pepsi, a strange thing happened… When I finally had the opportunity to have a Coke, it overpowered me with its sweetness to where if I drank an entire 12-ounce can, I felt a little sickly. As a result, I started making other choices that weren’t loaded with sugar—even when Coke was available.

I can’t say I’ve consciously sworn off soft drinks completely, but I can tell you it’s been several months since I even had a taste of Coke or any other drink that’s carbonated and loaded with sugar.

So, instead of cursing Northwest College and Pepsi as I once did, I’d like to take this opportunity to thank them instead. I’m sure my dentist approves.

Sunday, January 07, 2018

On Pesky Emails, Cranky Faculty, and Whac-A-Mole

It’s been a fabulous Christmas break, but ready or not, the Spring semester is nearly here. And with the semester’s approach is the inevitable barrage of email to my school account. It’s probably safe to assume that almost everyone hates junk email—a.k.a. “spam.” But, worse than spam from some unknown bookseller or “get-rich-quick” scheme coming from Africa is the spam that is generated by one’s own workplace—especially if it keeps on popping up in the inbox like Whac-a-Mole—the popular arcade game.

At some point in time over the last two years, some administrative folk at my workplace—Northwest College—decided that faculty needed to have their syllabi posted on the college web site as soon as the previous semester was over. And from the end of one semester up until the beginning of the next semester—would you believe all summer long or throughout the Christmas break—email reminders all too often informing me and others that our syllabi haven’t been posted yet. Talk about being treated like a student—a student attending a students-at-risk school.

The other morning I had three of them from the office of academic affairs. The first one came at 6:58 a.m. Can you believe that—sending reminders out at 6:58 a.m. about missing syllabi? And then my questions… Is this not an illustration of academic bean-counting? Is this typical administrative on-the-job behavior? Surely if one is awake at that hour and would prefer to hit the ground running, aren’t there other administrative concerns that are more pressing than sending out harassing and irritating reminders about syllabi? Hell, I’d respect them more if I knew they were up all night gambling.

I’m sure administrative-types would argue with me in the language that they use: “Please remember that posting syllabi in a timely manner allows students to make educated decisions when selecting courses to enroll in during any given semester.” Such language is certainly well-intended, but really in all the years I’ve taught, I’ve never—repeat never—have had a student ask me (in person or email), “How come your syllabus isn’t posted for class.” Not even a week before classes begin. Maybe this kind of scenario is common at Stanford or Yale, but not so much at a junior college in Wyoming.

And if I can drive my point home a bit more, I’m reminded of the first day of class for any given semester when a syllabus hard copy is passed out to every student. After the class meets, it isn’t uncommon to find a handful of the syllabus left behind on the empty desks. 

This new priority in getting syllabi posted “timely” at Northwest College has a history, albeit short. When weekly notices were sent out with an attached Excel file (if you can believe it) of all the culprits starting last spring for the upcoming fall semester, faculty started getting prickly. In one email response to the entire faculty and the Academic Affairs Office, a faculty member shot out a lengthy response that including the following paragraph:

I realize this will come across as snarky, but I honestly don’t know how else to put it. I find it frustrating and puzzling that I am expected to have materials ready four months in advance. Quite honestly, if I was sitting around with the kind of time to put material together this early, I probably would have done it already. In addition to expecting me to have materials ready four months before something is supposed to occur, using a “wall of shame” mechanism such as these messages is just insulting to me.

Over the years, I’ve found myself playing around with the idea of applying for some kind of admin job to finish out my years of employment, but when this kind of administrative song-and-dance goes down, I’m unable to take the idea any further.