Friday, January 07, 2011

Where's My Magic Elixir?

Originally uploaded by mdt1960
The other day, a friend "re-gifted" me his iRenew bracelet. This is one of the many new scams, trends, lifestyles, etc. (take your pick) that today's new wave of conniving entrepreneurs are offering up to the American TV-viewing public.

Did you know, Kobe Bryant wears one? See links below to determine which one is best for you.

Sure, I never would have shelled out twenty bucks for one of these even if coming off a big power lotto score, but I thought, "What the heck, I'll give it a try."

I'm sad to say (as reported on my Facebook status page) that after 48 hours of test driving, the iRenew bracelet has not increased my strength, endurance or improved my balance. However, it has managed to irritate me with its cheap stainless steel metal digging in my skin. Thanks to the iRenew bracelet, I'm probably more likely to go off on someone instead of gracefully navigating a patch of ice on the sidewalks of town.

Even Ron Popeil would be disenchanted.

Like so many Americans, I continue to search for that special pill or some other magical shortcut somewhere that will allow me to forgo the track, gym, or weights so I can watch more infomercials while working on a big plate of french fries compliments of my original Veg-O-Matic.

1 comment:

Dave said...

Like the buzz of a flowbee by my ears, your words scar my corneas with their knifing truth. Forgive me I pray thee.